Diary of a Fat White Woman

Not training to eat. I’m actually very accomplished at eating. Hence the state I find myself in now.

Yesterday, my sisters trainer came up to the apartment and while he had my sister on the floor doing pilates, he had me doing similar things but against the wall. Leaning at various angles against the wall, frontways, backways, sideways, etc. Some were quite tough and I knew my arms were gonna be sore next day. They actually weren`t as bad as I thought they`d be. Both my sister and I were cranky at the beginning and I told Mike (our trainer) this and he said “don`t worry, I`ll work that out of you”.. and he did.

Tonight when I got my dinner I was thinking that 1/2 cup of food is starting to look more like a normal serving size. I guess I’m getting used to it. I didn’t think “is that all I have?” I was talking to my mum today and said I had lasagna last night and tonight I was having chili. She said if people heard me talking they’d think I was eating like a whole lasagna and not the small amount I actually eat.

This week for lunches I had bought a few slices of deli ham, smoked turkey and roast beef and some slices of havarti. I made wraps with small tortillias and some lettuce and the meat and cheese with some ranch dressing sprinkled on it. They were so good!!!!

I made some “Breakfast Bites” on the weekend which are delicious!! I’ll post the recipe below for you and where I got it as there are other variations of the same recipe there. I also made porcupine balls in the crockpot. Yum-o!!

Ham & Cheese Breakfast Bites

1/2 Yellow Onion, diced
3 Green Onions, diced
6 Mushrooms, chopped
1 teaspoon Butter
1/4 lb. (about 4 slices) Ham, diced
1/4 teaspoon dried Basil
1/4 teaspoon dried Oregano
a few twists of Black Pepper
5 Eggs
1/3 cup Tomato, diced (I used canned, drained)
1 cup Shredded Cheese, Italian Blend

Preheat oven to 350 F. Saute onions in butter till golden. Add mushrooms and saute 1 minute more. Add chopped ham and saute another minute more. Set aside to cool.

Mix all ingredients together. Be sure veggies and ham mixture has cooled slightly before adding to egg mixture. Spoon into lightly greased mini muffin tin. Bake for 30 minutes or until centers are firm. Makes 24.

Source: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2008/02/breakfast-bites.html

So today for dinner I had some lasagna. I put 1/2 cup into a dish to nuke it. I looked at the little piece of lasagna and my brain said “that’s awfully small” so I put another piece in as well.

Needless to say I could only eat the original 1/2 cup before I was well and truly full. I’ll save the other piece for tomorrow. But just goes to show me I have more learning to do. My eyes/brain/mouth are still in pre-op mode and thinking I can eat alot more.

I know it will take time and new habits will start to form. At least I didn`t try to eat the whole thing today and knew when to stop.

I also met with a personal trainer today and got some exercises that I can in my apartment with light weights and such.

I`ve an appointment with the doctor that helped me lose the weight before surgery tomorrow. It will be the first time I`ve seen him since the surgery. I am anxious to get on his scales and see what difference they are showing. Will keep you informed.

So as of a few days ago I can slowly start introducing normal foods into my diet. And I get to learn which sits well and which doesn’t.

I’ve already discovered that white and brown processed bread doesn’t sit well. I’ve been eating soda crackers and pita bread but was getting bored with those. I decided to buy some english muffins and see how those were if toasted well. I had half yesterday morning for breakfast and then had diareah but wasn’t sure if it was the muffin or not. So I had another this morning for breakfast and same thing.

I also bought a small chef salad. Thursday for dinner I had one slice of cucumber, 1 beet slice, half a boiled egg, a few small cubes of ham and some lettuce with buttermilk ranch dressing. It was very good. I had the same for lunch on Friday.

I was kind of silly though and bought a meat pie (tortiere) since I love that cold with a bit of ketchup. I had some for dinner last night warm with some baked beans. I did have a little bit of gas and discomfort after though. I had some cold at lunch today but I really didn’t enjoy it. I had some warm tonight with beans as well and having a bit of gas now too.

However, I get gas even when I have a sip of water, lol. I am finding that my tastes are not the same. Things don’t have much taste or don’t taste like I remember them.

I am also struggling with my eyes/mouth being bigger than my stomach still. It’s hard to put just 1/2 cup of food on your plate. As well I am finding that in the evenings I feel like eating just because I’m bored or watching tv. That is something I am still working on.

Tuesday my sisters personal trainer is coming over to show me a few things I can start doing here in my apartment. There is no way I am ready to be seen in public exercising yet! I can’t do much yet anyway - the surgeon’s office said to start with hand weights (3-5 lbs) so the trainer will show me things to do with those and then I can start working my way up.

Today was my first episode with vomiting. It happened about 2 hours ago. It was not fun.

A friend had stopped by and had stopped at swiss chalet for their lunch. I ate a few of the french fries with some gravy on them. I’ve had mashed potatoes with gravy before so figured this might be ok. I guess the fried part didn’t sit right. After eating I kept burping and having a few lower back pains. Then all of a sudden I started retching. Up came the fries, gravy and lots of foam. Yuckity yuck yuck. It didn’t last long because there really wasn’t much food in me but I am still feeling tired and worn out two hours later.

So I guess I knock french fries off the list of things I can eat. To be honest right now I don’t ever want to see another fry again.